Bathroom Monologues: Decorations

I was quite proud of my adorable scarecrows with their jack o'lantern heads, linked arm and arm on the porch. Yet the only person to compliment them was a politician going door to door for re-election, and I was fairly certain it was in her routine to compliment any decorations she saw. I could have had kittens dangling and strangling from my rafters and she would have been obliged to say, "I do so love your cats here."